I don’t care who you are. If your girlfriend falls asleep in your lap, and even after 30 minutes when both of your legs go numb, don’t move. You fucking stay there and appreciate the cute little thing in your lap. If you move you’re weak and natural selection is coming for you.
Now remember people, National Coming Out Day is on its way. If you “come out” on facebook as straight and/or cis, an ally, a brony, a fucking whovian, or anything other than a marginalized sexual orientation and/or gender identity, I will ram my boot so far up your ass you’ll be tasting Vans for weeks.